The truth about the past

Well, this post is about the past ...
I'm surrounded by suprises and challenges given me by the universe.
And this time, it was a challenge that hitted me hard and heavy, but, I persevered ...
As anyone who knows me, I''m  a open book. I have nothing to hide.
One of my marks of personality is being brutally honest about anything, including myself.
So, people see that i'm being honest and not having any agenda or any pretense of 
misleading people.
Sometimes, It happens that being totally honest about myself is seen as a bad thing.
Too many times in my life, i was asked to lie to someone. Too many times, I had to obey.
I don't want people to understand why i did it, but, i tell them if they want to know ...
I have seen many things and made as much that i can't even remember.
They are part of my journey. I can't hide from them. They are always part of me.
I'm about to turn 30. That means that i have much more to learn and much more to 
understand to myself and for others.
I admit that I did somethings that brought to me understanding and reasoning 
to my way of life. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't my time spent with people online and 
in real life.
The truth is that my past is just that, a collection of actions and words that i made and 
said one day. 
I learn by observation and by my own actions and words.
I'm not saying that anything that I do and did is perfect.
I can't wish that. All I wish is that i can be helpful and understanding to everyone i 
encounter in my life.  Even if it means revealing aspects of my life experiences that
could be useful to rise and win the challenge that the person is dealing with.
But, when you try to do that, some persons don't understand me at all. 
I wish it wasn't so,  but, that's how some people are.
I have a forgivable heart because troughout my life i've seen the results of certains 
attitudes i had. 
So, why do i have to hide my past ? It doesn't make sense to me, since, the people 
i came across didn't hurt me or the persons who i've hurted saw me apologizing for
my mistakes and asked for forgiveness.
That's a true acknowlegdement of my attitudes and responsability to the world.
I'm not a role model for anyone nor i try to be. 
I have my own flaws and i'm making my best to change that.
Online, I've been in so many places and for the most of it, I was who i continue to be.
Trying to help people who come across in my journey.
I don't have bragging rights for doing this or that.
And i don't need them at all.
It may sound quite moralist of me, it's not my thing being moralist. 
I only say what i've been trough and the knowlegde that was given to me ...
If I intended to do harm, i would not put myself in a public position. 
I would hide myself not showing my true intentions.
I would not put my heart and soul for helping others to achieve their goals and dreams.
I never comitted a crime. If honesty is a crime, then sue me ... Just kidding.
In this challenge, I was given a option to continue to be myself or just hide myself
because of my past.
I chose to stay, to face the bullets with open arms. 
Yes, i have a past. If you want me to explain, i gladly do it. Then, you can make 
your choice wether i'm honest or not.
I'm a man with a past. I like to joke around about my past. I have somethings i feel ashamed of doing in that time or that i regret not doing enough also.
My true intentions are good. 
I finalize by saying that i look into the goodness of people's hearts.
I've been hurted with this challenge but I overcome myself with the truth of my past.
I will continue to help, i will continue to be true even if means getting myself hurt.
Because, i have only myself to judge. Nothing else.

1 comentário:

  1. Past itself can teach many things, it is not meant to be a burden...but a lesson. :)

    No one is perfect even if he/she wishes to because we all make mistakes.

    Stay true to yourself.