01/11/14

Heart of a man, love of an angel ...

I've been trying to sum up the inspiration and strengh to write this post.
In a attempt to put all i was feeling and to make sense of it, i wrote a draft almost 2 pages long ... 
I needed to put all that i couldn't say into paper.
I needed time alone to allow myself to let out all of the unwanted emotions i was bottling up, before it was to late ...
Trying to come up with the right things to say isn't easy, specially like this.



My emotions get the best out of me ...
It's a problem that i keeep constantly having to deal with ...
I have to be a little silent, just to get my thoughts cleared and acknowlegde 
what i have to do ...
And sometimes, some hard decisions have to be made, in order to make the best 
that I have to give to everyone and everything.
I wrote almost page and a half about my up bringing.
This was a mere introduction to what i had to really say about the various situations 
that i'm currently dealing with ...
Little by little, i decided to make this post happen ... And here it is ... 

Along my life, I always tried to be a good person. Not a perfect one, as i wanted ... 
With that, came all the support system that gave myself a reputation, or more 
a notion about who i was to others, Whether be in real life or in the online world.
As i go through my posts, i found my first post of this year. 
And i say that when i wrote that, i mean everything and so much more ...
That so much more is what i'm about to show to everyone ...


Percy Slegde had a song called " When a man loves a woman " ...
He tells that when a man loves a woman, he does everything because she is the one 
he loves ... 
I agree ... But, there's a twist on this ... He doesn't have a song called " When a man 
loves women " ...
The very concept of loving women gives space to so many things, that some of them,
I heard through my life. 
I was raised by women, and so, when i say i love women and they are special to me, 
I'm not in any kind of concept saying that i just see women as sexual creatures.
Life and Love taught me to see them as a whole. 
Giving that my values towards women, are the highest and that i don't like when
anyone is doing something wrong to them, i get sometimes all kinds of insults and 
all kinds of misconceptions about the way i say that.
My heart is a man's heart, it's naturaly designed to be a lover ...
And there's another word that gets a bad rep, all because, of the concept of being 
a cheater ... 
No man who really loves, cheats. He prefers to get himself hurt, rather than, hurting 
a woman.
Then again, is me saying that, and sometimes is old-fashion. So, i'm a old-fashion kind 
of man.
I Love ... That's it, that's who i am as a human being. Even though, i have my flaws.
Loving sometimes can be tough, because of all of the hard decisions you have to make,
not to hurt or to place someone in suffering.
Loving on a very deep level can, sometimes, be even more difficult.
This is my position right now.
My heart was broken, yet, all i do is just say, be happy. And i mean it. 
I still love that person, i just don't want to get hurt again.
So, I love them like an angel. Someone who cares deeply about them, someone
that wants them to be happy and smiling, but, that's it. Nothing more than that.
And it's hard when you have to say that to someone who you shared deep and intimate
moments with you. Again, the heart says, it's better this way. You still have the love 
and affection of a friendship, but, otherwise, it can't be.
And that's the sacrifice i make. I choose to cherish and lead by example, showing that
even with my heart broken, i Love them. In a very deep and meaningful way.
It's an honour to carry their love through me ... 
Yet, i'm a one woman kind of guy. I may love my female friends, but, i only have space 
for one. And that one is going to be who i spend the rest of my life with.
That's who i am ... That's what love means to me ...
It's never easy, but, it's who i am. 

Nothing more, Nothing less. Just like the title says, heart of a man, love of an angel.


Live, Learn, Love 

Namaste, 

WTA 

   



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